GLASS HALF EMPTY CARD

$6.99 

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If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching.

Naughty, rude, irreverent, funny and wicked Defamations greeting cards will delight, demean and defame even the most prudish of people. Take the piss out of friends and family with Australia's most amusing, fucking greeting cards. There's a card from every occasion. Printed in Australia using Sovereign Silk 350 gsm - FSC Certified Stock, which means all our cards are environmentally friendly. La de da or what! FSC is also the only forest certification system that requires consultation with local Indigenous Peoples to protect their rights, which is precisely how it should be. For the record, Defamations hate people who hunt wild animals for trophies, are racist and show no regard for the environment.

ECO-FRIENDLY GIFTS AND SUSTAINABLE SWEARING

Defamations is currently an industry leader in nothing, but we're going to jump on the bandwagon and fully protect the environment. For the record, all our products are produced using the most eco-friendly processes where possible. Taking the piss out of family and friends is as much fun as horizontal folk dancing. We love it. It also makes you laugh, which is good for your heart and soul. We want to be ethical warriors and live in natural harmony with our planet. That is our dream.

We plan to ensure everyone who buys a Defamations paper product is into recycling. We suggest after reading your Defamation product, you scrunch it up and use it as toilet paper.

Here's the disclaimer: We have a carbon-neutral business. We use soy-based inks and recycled paper in our stuff, and we divert all our soft plastics to reuse ethically. Through all stages of production, we reduce, compost, and recycle. We're fucking wonderful.

UNDER THE SOUTHERN CROSS

We're a family-owned business, well, we've always presumed we are family. Our motto is, "Live your life as though you live in a cult", and we did. Gee, we're a lucky bunch of bastards. Like mum always said, "Some kids only have one Dad, you've got three." All of our stuff is tossed together in Australia and dispatched from our outdoor dunny by our trained vultures called "Get the Fuck Out" and "Get the Fuck Here". Most of our team live and work close by in some shit-kicking, town. We think it's called Seeyawhenimlookinatyou, which is what Dad says when he locks the door. He's a fuckin card that bloke.

WE DON'T GIVE A TOSS

Defamations is all about creating a stink. We wanna be the fucking opposite to everyone else. You know have a bloody laugh at some poor buggers expense. None of the oh dear don't do it that way cos it will upset some bearded, cloth wearing, save the fucking horny goat weed from extinction crybaby. None of that friggin politically correct bullshit for us. We provide hysterically funny and occasionally dangerous employment for our staff i.e. cousins. We wanted to make it engaging and strive for a mutually beneficial outcome for everyone, but we got bored, so we gave that shit up. You will be positively pissed off when you deal with Defamations.